Giorno Doppo Giorno
by BurgerPastaWithTiramisu
Summary: A short angst. Feli visits Lovi sleeping under a tree in their backyard. Implied death.


It's dawn when I wake up; the sun is just poking his head up from the mountains that sit a few kilometers back from the villa. They're pretty tall, but I think I moved here because of how well the sun illuminates them at the crack of dawn and during sunset. The real-estate agent made an attempt to have me move somewhere in the city, saying that I "don't look like an outdoors person", but I didn't bother to listen to him, those two years back. Nature has become my friend, even if I've gotten a few scratches, rashes, and sprained ankles-

-but he was wrong, and the small man complained and whined. Apparently this sale would harm his reports or something. Not that it was of any importance to me; So as long as I felt comfortable with the place, nothing else truly mattered.

I know that it's pretty early to be waking up- it's something after 6:15 -but I do this every day. People call it a bad habit, unhealthy, and say I should get checked out because waking up this early isn't normal but I don't care. I feel fine, really! Besides, the days are really busy with the new additions of paperwork and meetings, so getting an early start seems optimal, right?

No, I shouldn't say that I don't care because that would be rude. I appreciate their concern, however worrying is not necessary.

Ah, looking back at the bed, the sheets are in need of a changing. It's been four weeks since fresh ones have been laid on the mattress. Maybe a nice, warm color, like beige, should look nice.

That's our- my favorite color-

I've another day off from work, because Boss had personally told me to relax for a while, though I don't believe he mentioned for how long. I guess he'll call.

He had noticed that I've completely drowned myself in work- the piles and piles of papers on my desk must have tipped him off- and looked at me with unusually kind eyes, a huge contrast from the familiar scowl-with-pissed-off-eyes.

A shame it dawned on me a little too late that Boss gave me a look of pity. And that expression only saddened when I jumped up from my seat with the happiest smile I've ever worn in his presence. He thought I wouldn't catch on, but I did, no matter how long it took.

The kitchen is pretty large when only one person is in there making breakfast for his or her self. I hate how silent it is, too. Quietness has made me depressed recently, and I don't want today to be a drag so I hurry back up to our- my room to retrieve the small radio I bought as a Christmas present to liven up the area.

It hasn't been used for a month and dust has settled on the knobs and buttons. Sigh. If I wasn't in such a rush, I would spend the time cleaning it. Actually, the entire house could use a thorough cleaning. I haven't really left our- the bedroom in a couple of weeks and, while it's nothing any guest would seriously realize, dust and tiny specks of dirt are everywhere. Lovino and I used to tackle the dust on the weekends because of our horrible allergies; We'd always get sick afterwards but the house was spic-and-span, just the way we prefer.

Oh! Look at the time! Here I am reminiscing when I have to go into town to buy some fresh orchids and lilies.

The only set-back about this property is that the nearest town is seven kilometers away and neighbors are sparse. If I knew I was going to end up alone, I never would have paid at all. Then again, I didn't care about the whole neighbor-thing when buying the villa. But I don't want to be alone-

Ahhh, I'm confusing myself again.

Hmm, I don't want to leave the kitchen and my omelette, but flowers don't buy themselves, nor do I want to take any from the little garden in the backyard.

"Come on Feli, a nice drive is good for you. Fresh air. Come on, up you go," the hushed command is whispered. A few seconds pass before I listen to myself and peel away from the countertop that I had been leaning against. Strange how I don't remember getting on this side of the kitchen.

After I brush my teeth, change into a casual white tee and some black jeans, the car-keys are already in my hand. I'm using Lovino's car because I accidentally wrecked the bumper to mine a few weeks ago, speeding to the hospital. Aha, silly me! I really need to learn how to drive better. Lovino would constantly tease me about my driving abilities.

The drive to and fro town doesn't take long, or maybe it may have something to do with my pushing past the speed limit. Either way, I'm back home with high spirits thanks to the sweet chat I had with the old man who sold me the bouquet.

Although quick, we talked about different kinds of cake, a topic that always fills me with glee.

I think I'll make a cake later on and share it with- Oh.

The bouquet wrapping feels cold against my palm. I don't like cold things anymore because they make me feel... uncomfortable. They make me feel vulnerable and lost. Hopefully the sun that the weatherman promised will warm it right up!

Pulling into the driveway, I stop the car and slide out of the driver's seat, making my way to the gate that leads to the backyard. I would have gone back inside for the key to unlock it but why go back when I'm already standing in front of it? I can still climb over if I'm careful. The gate is only a meter high.

Fearing that the bouquet might be crushed if I try to climb the gate with it in hand, I use my right arm to throw the bunch of flowers over onto the grass, though wince when it lands. Ahh, that would ruin everything if I hurt the flowers.

I prop and hurl myself over the gate. Of course, me being me, the landing didn't exactly stick and I ended up with grass and dirt mingling with my face.

The lawn could use a trimming, but I don't remember where the lawnmower is. Another sigh. I'll just call one of the services to do it, then. Can't really be bothered with anything anymore.

My hands come to lift my body up- eheh. Looks like I can still do a push-up. Anyways, nothing happened to the bouquet so I'm relieved. Now, what was it that I was going to do? Right, I was going to visit Lovi.

He always lies under this giant tree in the middle of the backyard. He's been there for a while, and seems pretty content and quiet. I mean, he has never really been one to blabber, especially these last few months, but he just stopped talking altogether four weeks ago.

I don't mind. Lovino seems happier now, so I won't argue.

Not sure why my hands are shaking when I place the flowers down beside him; I've eaten something today... Shoot, my vision has gone fuzzy.

Oh geez, I can't breathe properly, even though I've taken a seat. This rapid rise-and-fall is really annoying... I gotta calm down. Deep breath, Feli. Deep breath.

"H-Hey Lovi. You missed dinner last night... I made your favorite: Capellini and shrimp..." I cringe at how my voice trembles, a shiver running up my spine when there's no response.

But I have to remember; Lovino can't speak anymore.

The last time I heard his voice- it was so pained, so helpless. It was at dawn when he first began to whimper. Then... He couldn't stop screaming and crying. He said that his head wouldn't stop throbbing... Pounding. He cried out for someone, for me, and I wanted to do something so badly... When they came to get him, Lovino wouldn't speak. He kept mouthing things but I couldn't hear his voice. It hurts to remember. I don't want to-

-yet I miss him so much. The aid that I called for pushed me out of the ambulance, profanities, orders, and apologies streaming from the inside-out. I was scared- So scared. They took him away. So far away. That was the last time I saw those hazel eyes look so bright, even in all of their fear and pain.

I didn't want to lose him, so I jumped into my car. Ugh, I was such an idiot, wrecking it like that. It wasn't wise to drive with hazy eyesight.

When-when I got there, everyone was so sad. Everything was quiet. He was quiet. They said... They said that he was already gone before they made it to the hospital. Something about an aneurysm, I don't know. I didn't care. I just wanted him back.

But that was wishful thinking.

"I miss you, Lovi. I really do. I'd get you a blanket right now because it's gotten really chilly, a-and I know you don't like the cold. I got new flowers to replace the old ones... And I'm going to change the bed sheets later on. They're not warm anymore." When did it start raining? There's not a cloud in the sky, and it's barely after 7:48. Where-?

A single sob rips itself out of my throat. It hurts, my chest. Everything hurts. I can't see, but I know he can. He's watching me cry from up there, where he's safe from everything.

"I-I'm going to go-"

And I do. I go back into the dirty house. Back into the empty bed with sheets still stained with tears from days and days ago.

By midday I'm sleeping again. By night I can't sleep. But I don't mind. I'll visit him again tomorrow.

* * *

**A/N:**

**Sorry it's so shitty and confusing. I tried and I wanted to make an attempt at angst.**

**Read it again and things'll start to make more sense. There are a lot of hints and shit.**

**Oh, my apologies for Feli being out of character- that's just how I portray him.**

**Bye. uvu;**


End file.
